


Heck Off Scott Gimple

by zothehomo



Series: The Walking Crack Fics [3]
Category: Real Person Fiction, The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Salt, Swearing, can you tell that I'm salty, carl deserved better, chandler deserved better, dont read this if you haven't seen how it's gotta be, heck off scott gimple, idk what this is, my attempt at humour, rip fourth wall, spoilers for 8x08, this is a JOKE btw pls don’t attack me for writing this, watch the season 8 mid season finale before reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 02:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12997770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zothehomo/pseuds/zothehomo
Summary: I'm still salty about the MSF so here have this





	Heck Off Scott Gimple

“That’s how it happened.” Carl said weakly, Michonne and Rick stared at him in worry. He reached down, glancing at the script next to him as he did, reading the following act in his head.

_Carl lifts his shirt to reveal a walker bite._

Carl paused, blinking in confusion as he reread the script. Michonne and Rick frowned at him as he picked it up and stared at it in disbelief. He glanced down, lifting up his shirt to reveal a new bandage he didn’t even recall putting on, he pulled it off, wincing slightly as his wound was put on show. Rick gasped and Michonne let out a choked sob. Carl ignored them.

“What… the… fuck?!” He said in shock. Michonne stopped crying immediately (it was kind of weird how she could do that, it was almost as if she was an actor who could trigger her own tears, but Carl didn’t think too much about it) looking at him in confusion.

“Carl…?” Rick asked quietly.

“Read this!” Carl told him, shoving the script into his hands, Rick quickly skimmed the page, stopping when his eyes landed on _Carl lifts his shirt to reveal a walker bite._

“What…?” Rick mumbled, Michonne glanced at the script and basically had the same reaction, sorry I can’t be bothered to write her having a different one just like Scott Gimple can’t be bothered to try and write a decent twd episode.

“Am I supposed to die now??? What??” Carl questioned.

Rick shook his head, “no, it says here that the camera slowly pulls away and then the scene fades to black. Apparently you die in February.”

“What?! Since when??”

“Since two weeks before Chandler Riggs’ 18th birthday apparently.” Michonne cut in.

“Who the fuck is Chandler Riggs?!” Carl asked incredulously, “what the fuck is going on?!”

“They’re killing you off Carl.” Michonne said solemnly, “they do it to everyone eventually. Well, everyone except Daryl at least.”

The three glanced over at Daryl, who was playing with Judith. He looked up at them and shrugged, then said something unintelligible in that weird ass grunt-speak voice he does.

Carl turned his attention back to Rick and Michonne, “wait, so what happens when you get killed off? Do I actually die?”

Rick shrugged, “probably. Your mom did.”

Suddenly, the ceiling opened up and Lori appeared out of nowhere, “you’ll come up here and join us!” She told him excitedly.

“You sound way too excited for my death.” Carl deadpanned.

Lori shrugged, apparently not giving a shit, like how Scott Gimple doesn’t give a shit about twd’s fanbase or source material.

Then, Dale popped his head over the edge, and Carl awkwardly stared up at him, “I’ve been waiting for you, you little shit. Time for revenge.”

“Dale! Stop being a creep! A voice that sounded like Andrea’s yelled.

“Wait, Andrea’s in Heaven?” Rick asked.

“Unfortunately.” Lori told him, “I’m sure you miss her-“

“We don’t.” Rick cut her off, looking into a camera like he was on the office, “no-one does.”

“K then.” Carl said, changing the subject, “anyway, about me dying. How do I not do that?”

Michonne opened her mouth to answer when suddenly Glenn’s voice came from above, “dumpsters!! Just a load of dumpsters! Crawl under them and you’ll be safe, people might even make memes about you!”

“What the fuck is a meme?” Carl asked.

“Idek.” Glenn shrugged.

“Wait,” Michonne said, turned the script over in her hands. On the back in big letters it read **PROPERTY OF SCOTT GIMPLE**.

“Who the fuck is Scott Gimple?”

“I AM.” A guy yelled, the three gasped and looked over at the massive camera and the man behind it with his own script in his hand, “NOW FILM YOUR FUCKING DEATH SCENE CARL.”

“Um, no lol?” Carl told him, “this is the dumbest way for me to die ever. I’ve survived being shot twice and I go out via a walker bite that you didn’t even show me getting? What??”

“Well I uh-“

“And this totally fucks up the comic storyline too? Are we even getting the Whisperers? Alpha? Lydia?”

“It’s so Rick won’t kill Negan-“

“Why the fuck would I not want to kill Negan if my son is dead? Do you remember how I went crazy and slaughtered all of those walkers when he lost his eye? Did you think this through at all?”

“Well we didn’t have anyone else to do it with-“

“Morgan.” Rick said immediately.

“Uh.” Scott froze, his eyes darting between Rick, Carl and Michonne for a few seconds before he threw his script at a wall and ran off into the sewer.

There was silence for a few seconds before they heard a loud scream, and Scott ran back towards them being followed by a bunch of angry fans with torches and pitchforks, “WHY ARE YOU FUCKING UP TWD?!” They yelled.

“UHHHHH.” Scott said awkwardly. A particularly brave girl pointed her pitchfork at him warningly, “you better start improving it. Now.”

“Uh-okay! I’ll give Daryl more screentime!”

“NOBODY FUCKING WANTS THAT!” Someone yelled from the back.

“I’ll… kill off Carol?”

“Wh- no!”

“I’ll give Carl the speaking lines, screentime and character development he deserves all while sticking to the story of the comics?”

The girl pointing her pitchfork at him opened her mouth to protest, but hesitated as his words registered with her, “I- um… yeah, actually. That’s exactly what we want you to do.”

“Oh. Okay.” He said. “How do I do that exactly?”

Suddenly, someone pushed through the crowd, reaching the front and revealing that it was Robert Kirkman himself, he shoved an issue of The Walking Dead comic series into Scott’s face. “Like that!” He told him.

Scott looked at it, frowning, “what even is this? Carl is getting a decent amount of screentime and character development??”

"Uh... Yeah?" One of the fans said.

"But... HOW?!" Scott cried.

Kirkman looked at him in disbelief, “please just fucking resign.”


End file.
